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But the happier I’ve become over the years, the more guilty I’ve felt about Graham.

We met in late 1996 while I was studying zoology and natural sciences at Cambridge University, and he was doing a maths and computing degree in Bristol.

Thankfully, Sue stepped in and gently coaxed me towards a second date.

I was already falling for Rich, but as our relationship progressed guilt would often eat me up, usually after we’d enjoyed dinner, a film or a walk in the countryside — things Graham and I used to love, too.

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When their relationship ended, we saw each other platonically.How could I contemplate being someone’s girlfriend when I still felt like someone else’s faithful wife?When — or if — to seek new love after being widowed remains one of life’s taboos.The following Saturday I got a text from Richard introducing himself and asking if I’d like to meet for drinks in Cheltenham.Agreeing to a date with Rich, who’s a web designer and at 36 is two years younger than me, felt like betraying Graham.How dare I feel so happy with this man when I was still so obviously in love with someone else? I still dreamed of him and slept with his jumper under my pillow.