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Patrick announced her breakup with Hospenthal, who is 17 years her senior, in November 2012 and their divorce […] Another sign of baby on the way?

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"His old wife then lets go with a huge stinking fart and says, "Tied up - One to One!

"The old man then does another one with his wife easily keeping up.

"Just a few," replied the man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces?

Lying about my age is easier now that I often forget what it is.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. At my age I get the same effect just standing up fast. If you watch a movie that you have seen before but you do not remember it, you can watch it like its the first time again!

When you get too old for pimples, you go right into wrinkles!

There are 3 things that indicate you are getting older, first there is loss of memory....... The worse thing about growing old is having to listen to the advise of one's children Does it take you longer to rest than it did to get tired?